Chapter 27

The next morning, her mother burst in, slamming her hand on the counter and yelling.

"What's wrong with you, you brat! Are you trying to embarrass your mother?!"

Hearing her mother's shrill voice, Da Hee thought she should have taken one more day off. Da Hee took a gulp of iced tea.

"Do my words not sound like words to you?"

"They do."

When Da Hee replied calmly, her mother's eyebrows shot up. She glared at Da Hee. However, Da Hee's expression didn't change in the slightest. Ever since she was little, Da Hee's expression had been so unreadable that it was impossible to tell what she was thinking. Even when she was scolded until tears streamed down her face, she would only give a clear-cut answer like, 'I was wrong because of this and that, so I won't do it again'. In fact, she rarely did anything that warranted such a tear-inducing scolding. Her mother worried if Da Hee, who seemed to lack emotions, could even date, and as she feared, her relationships never led to marriage. Taking a breath, her mother sat down opposite to Da Hee.

"What's the reason you didn't go, even though you said you were leaving?"

"I suddenly got tired. Incredibly tired."

"What?"

Her mother asked sharply, as if saying, 'Is that all?'

"Hmph, so where were you? You weren't at home or the café."

"At Tae Seon's place."

"The place you went after bailing on your blind date was just your married friend's house? Didn't you feel anything seeing Tae Seon?"

At her mother's nagging, Da Hee raised her head. Da Hee's face was more gaunt than usual, which automatically silenced her mother. Da Hee sighed briefly, then placed a hand on her forehead. The back of her hand was hot. It seemed she had a fever. No wonder she'd been shivering since morning. Da Hee blamed herself for catching a summer cold, which even dogs don't get, and put on the vest hanging over the back of the chair.

"Hey, why is your face so pale? Are you sick?"

"I'm fine. And Mom, just give up now."

"On what?"

"I'm not going to go on any more blind dates. If a situation comes where I get married much later, I will, but I don't want to force myself to find someone and marry them."

"Why?"

"I'm not confident."

Da Hee lowered her gaze.

"Who said you have to marry right away? Just meet them once!"

Her mother hit her chest in frustration and yelled. Da Hee stared at her mother, then lowered her eyes. She took a moment to catch her breath. Whether from the fever or exhaustion, emotions she didn't usually feel welled up. Letting countless thoughts flow through her mind, Da Hee quietly began to speak.

"Mom, I always felt sorry for Dad."

"Hey, why are you suddenly bringing that up...?"

Her mother's voice became abruptly awkward. She carried some guilt about her father. Knowing this, Da Hee had never mentioned her father to her mom. Da Hee's eyes glazed over.

"Dad was always just looking at your back while you were busy as you were."

"Are you suddenly saying it's my fault you don't want to go on blind dates?"

Her mother's voice sharpened.

"No, that's not it. It's a completely different situation, but in the same sense... I'm trying to say I'm scared I might hurt someone like that without even realizing it. Mom, I'm really scared of myself."

I'm scared of not being able to burn brightly.

She had seen her father wither away, loving someone who wasn't passionate. Her father had said the reason he loved the seashore so much was because it was where he first met her mother. Before she matured, she resented her mother for being so preoccupied with work outside the home more than inside it, and after she matured, she couldn't even resent her once she knew that her mother's object of affection was 'work.' Because her father loved her mother, knowing she loved her work. However, Da Hee still remembered. Her father's lonely shoulders, his desolate scent, and his profile as he stood idly, gazing at her mother as she slept.

Da Hee's voice was sunk and subdued. Her mother's lips parted slightly. This was only the second time in her life she had seen Da Hee with such an expression and such a voice. The first was after her father's death.

Unaware of her mother's reaction, Da Hee's gaze was still fixed somewhere on the floor. Da Hee's eyes shone sadly. After her thoughts of her father ended, Woo Hyun came to mind. Da Hee resented herself.

She had been careless, thinking she wouldn't fall in love. And in the end, that carelessness made her fall in love with Woo Hyun. The moment Woo Hyun confessed, she realized she liked him too. Yet, Da Hee had no choice but to push Woo Hyun away.

Even if his heart was nearing 40 degrees, madly in love, her own temperature would barely exceed 38 degrees, just as it always had. And he wouldn't be able to endure that 2-degree difference, then returning to a body temperature of 36.5 degrees.

Like others before him, he would say, 'You don't love me.' Then she would again endure that fever of 37 degrees by herself for a long time. She no longer had the confidence to go through that slight fever. Moreover, if it was a slight fever brought on by Woo Hyun, she was even less confident she could handle it.

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Miel's Translations